Wednesday, 2 April 2008


I felt I had to come write something here, after I just heard that my cousin found my blog, and it made her cry.
Oddly, I was trying to look her up on Facebook, yesterday, but couldn't find her.

So, I've been feeling a little bit better, over the past week or so. I've started taking steroids again, which seems to be masking some symptoms, and maybe helping the anti-sickness meds to work.
I couldn't eat at all, a couple of weeks ago. I had no appetite, felt sick all the time, and I'd started to be sick too. But the steroids seem to be helping.
I can eat a bit again now, which is nice. It's also nice to be able to do a bit more than just sit on the sofa, feeling like I'm going to throw up any minute.

At the weeekend, James and me went out, for the first time in three months.
I've felt too ill to go anywhere apart from hospital (well, I felt too ill to go there too, but didn't have much choice). But on Saturday, James wheeled me around Meadowhall, in my wheelchair. It was just so good to get out!
On Sunday, we went out for lunch.. I had steak. I couldn't eat alot, but STEAK! I love steak, and haven't had that for months either.

I still have horrible stomach pains, and a dodgy tummy, from the Xeloda/capecitabine chemo. And the hand-foot syndrome (sore, cracked soles of feet and hands) seems to have started now too. Only on my feet, so far.. they're just really sore, despite using every moisturiser/emollient known to man, and taking tablets that are supposed to prevent it. I was hoping to escape that one. I was hoping to escape all the side-effects, really!

Yesterday wasn't a good day. I was up in the night alot, the night before, with a bad tummy. So I woke up feeling grotty, tired, and still with a bad tummy. But I took some steroids, went back to bed for a couple of hours, and felt a bit better when I got up again.

On a shiny note.. it's my 32nd birthday tomorrow (3rd). A few weeks ago, I was doubtful I'd make it.


MH72 said...

I came across your blog some time ago and kept it as a favourite. Was glad to see an update today - and even though I am a stranger I want to say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU TOMORROW" :-)

Wings said...

Happy Birthday for tomorrow Dee.
Thinking you of you, as always
Love and cuddles
Karen (Wings) xxxx

Anonymous said...

Hi Dee
So pleased to see you posting on bcpals and also on your blog.
Iam glad that the steroids are making a difference and you are feeling stronger. I hope that you have a wonderful birthday tomorrow. I will be thinking of you and hope that you and James have a wondeful time celebrating your special day.

nat said...

I also wish you a very happy birthday!!

Siouxsie said...

Happy Birthday Dee, Sending you lots and lots of love.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, Dee!!!! Have a real good day and enjoy!
With love and greetings from Austria, Brigitte

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Dee!!
Thinking of you

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Dee! Hope you have a great day!

Julie (another stranger wishing you well and pleased to see an update!)

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday Dee.
May there be more to come.
With steak and all.

Korina said...

Hi Dee, U dont know me but your cousin is a very old dear friend of mine & she sent me your blog today via text. I'll be honest with you I haven't read all of it as I've found it very upsetting & infuriating, particularly with regard to 1 comment about being thankful to God for your good days!!! I'm with you on that, if God was so great why on earth would He give you or anybody else for that matter such an EVIL disease???
I admire you so much for sharing your story with everybody, I dont believe I'd have the guts to do that.
Another one of you posts made me smile though, 'the 1 about being 'hit by a bus'. It made me smile because it's so true, so many people use that saying, myself included, the weird thing is though, I saw my friend get hit & killed by a bus!!! It was several yrs ago now but trust me it's no way to go! Same for you Hunni, nobody should ever have to endure such pain, hurt & suffering. I'm not even going to pretend to know how you feel because I cant. I have no way of understanding any of what you are going through, all I can say, from reading bits of your blog, you truely are an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing your life with us, your a blessing xx

bionicwoman said...

Have been following your blog recently and was glad to discover your update today. Happy Belated Birthday for yesterday. I hope you were able to do something special and enjoy it!
I'm glad you were able to get out and enjoy Meadowhall and I wish you well and will be thinking of you over the coming weeks.
Bionic x

thewordgirl said...

Hello Dee,

I was so happy to see your newest entry. I was so worried about you. I hope you have the best birthday possible.

Anonymous said...

Happy belated birthday! I am glad you had a day out. Tanya