Saturday, 3 March 2007

"This Relationship Has Run Its Course"

I'm on a bit of a downer today. Well, for the past couple of days.

James and me split up on Thursday, after being together for a year. I think he was bored of 'cancer girl'.
I'm not enough fun when I'm feeling ill. And he doesn't seem to understand why I'm not happy and cheery all the time.
After alot of other things had been said, he came out with the good old "This relationship has run it's course for me."
But I'm not stupid. I'm fairly sure it wouldn't have 'run its course', if it hadn't been for the cancer coming back.
I knew things weren't quite right with us, but I'd hoped he would talk to me about what was bothering him, rather than just giving up and ending it.
So, cancer wins again.

The weekend before, saw the one year mark for us.
I booked a hotel for the night, and booked a meal for us.
I thought we'd had a nice weekend, but it seems I was wrong.

I've shed more tears over this, than I did when I found out the cancer had come back.
It appears to be upsetting me more than finding out I had a terminal illness.
He meant more to me than anything. He was my 'happy' amidst all the crap. Now my 'happy's upped and left.

I envy him. At least he can walk away from cancer world.

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