Thursday, 13 September 2007

Cars, Men, & Scanning Machines

My lovely MGF convertible's gone. My other half's is away on holiday. And I'm still waiting for the results of the MRI scan, which was done over two weeks ago.

The MGF's been bought by a local couple. And has been replaced by that sensible, comfortable VW Polo automatic.
The Polo's nice. It's easier to get in and out of, than the F. And the automatic gearbox is a bit of a novelty, at the minute.

A certain person who shall remain nameless, is in Cyprus with his friends. At a 'foam party' tonight, apparently, after being hypnotised a couple of evenings ago, and 'made' to do all manner of things to make himself look a bit of a fool, by the sounds of things!

I'm still hurting about this certain person and this holiday.
I'm not hurt that he's having fun without me. Although I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit jealous that he's having a great time in the sun, while I'm home alone, worrying about scan results.
I'm hurt because of his complete lack of regard for my feelings about this.

He is a nice person. Probably one of the nicest and most genuine people I've ever known. And I never thought he'd do anything to purposley hurt me. But he knew how I felt about him going on this holiday, from the very start.
He knew how much I hated the idea, and he knew how much it upset me. Yet he went ahead and did it anyway.

The actions of someone who loves me?

Maybe I shouldn't hate the idea of it as much as I did/do. Maybe I am just being silly. But I can't help how I feel about this. And I know that if something I was planning on doing, would upset him as much as this has upset me, I wouldn't do it.
But he did it. And now I don't know how I feel about it seemingly being so easy for him to do something that he knows hurts me.

MRI scan of my bones.. still no news about that.
I'd love to think "no news is good news". That may well be true. But I know the health system here too well now, to think they'd contact me quickly, if the news was bad.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey D!

Long time no see (or write!) Thats not to say that I haven't been reading your blogs, as I check the page regularly. I did try and email you a couple of months back, but it was returned as undeliverable, so I assumed that the address wasn't active.

Sorry to hear that you had to get rid of your MG and get an automatic...(spit!..spit!). There's no better feeling than dropping a cog and putting your foot down (but still sticking withihn the speed limits of course!! He! He! He!)...Something you just cant do in an automatic, the feeling just isnt there...Boo!

On the subject of "He who shall remane nameless", I personally think that he was wrong to go away, knowing what you've been through and are going through. To me that appears selfish and doesn't really convey an aura of love. When you love someone, you must also be prepared to make sacrifices...especially in times of emotional stress. When you love someone, when they need a shoulder to cry on, it should be your shoulder and it should be there when its needed.

Over the years I've made a lot of sacrices, some that hurt so bad I still have the scars, but never once regretted any of them.

I spent 11 years with the Animal Liberation Front and every single day I risked my freedom. I've seen sights that will haunt me forever and many a sight that reduced me to tears. But even though I could have had my freedom taken away from me, my love for what I was doing made the sacrifice worthwhile.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is, would it have killed him to miss a holiday to be with the woman he loves when she needs him? I doubt that you are short of friends D, but there is no substitue for love...nothing. And I know what it feels like to be hurt by someone you love...and it sucks!

Anyhoo! D, I'll keep on reading your Blog as long as you keep on writing it.

All the best, Geoff.

My e-mail address in case you need a cyber shoulder to cry on is

Keeping my fingers crossed for you.